Maybe, It’s You…

You are The Good Girl Who Always Gets Hurt.

You are The Girl That Is Always Loyal Yet Her Loyalty Is Disrespected.

You are Relationship Worthy, But There Is No One Out There Ready For You.

You are The Girl Who Is Different Than The Rest.

You’ve said it. You try to make sure that everyone knows. Now. My simple question is… are you sure? Are you one hundred percent confident of self-proclaimed worthiness? Do you KNOW for a fact that this is who you are?

Because if we sat down and looked at your receipts…the unread messages, the gas you wasted making midnight hour trips because that was the only time he had available, the fact that his bed sheets know your name but his phone doesn’t, that you know him more privately than anyone will ever know publicly, and that you’ve had to ask “What are we?” more than you’ve actually KNOWN, yet you still haven’t heard the answer you needed, that doesn’t look like the description of yourself that you’re giving Twitter.

It looks like you’ve been dropped on your head more times than you can remember.

In fact, you seem a little goofy. And if we’re being honest? It’s no one else’s fault but yours. Here’s why.

You have more control and influence over the outcome of situations than you think. No one has enough power over you to make you begin or stay in toxic situationships. You can leave whenever. You can demand what you really deserve at any time. You, however, choose not to. Why? You don’t want to pressure him or move too fast? You like the attention that he’s giving you, and you don’t want to find a reason to leave that? Or do you think if you give him relationship benefits prior to being in one and wait long enough, you can bamboozle him into one?

But if you truly were the girl you tweet about, the girl you market yourself as, or the girl you want men to see you as, would you be doing this? The amount of time you spent boasting about the kind of girl you are could have been used to ACTUALLY BECOME that girl.  You talk a mean talk before and after the fact, but when it’s time to actually stand on what you’ve been talking about, you become so much into the trill of it all that you are left exactly the same as all the other girls you claim yourself not to be. And you don’t deserve that.

You have to go into all of your relationships knowing your worth; your worth should not be discovered after failure, bur prior to it. Stop thinking you can change his mind. You won’t. Quit wondering what he thinks of you. His actions will show it. Stop crying because you feel like someone lead you on. No one, not even him, told you to follow. And the more you blame everyone but yourself for your romantic shortcomings, the more you will end up in the same position over and over again.

Am I saying that you aren’t what you say you are? No. Not at all. Am I saying that you may have more to do with the situation than you think? Yes indeed. Sit down and actually reflect on what went wrong. What signs were ignored? What did you allow that is unacceptable? If your mama knew all that you were doing for this boy and saw what you were getting in return, would she approve?

In order to be who you want to be, you have to do what you have to do. And something we ALL have to do is reflect and make sure we are aligned correctly with our desires. Because at the end of the day, and at the beginning of the day, you need to know who you are really looking at in a room full of mirrors.

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