Is he REALLY your “Bestfriend?”

The above scenario question was placed into my ask.fm a few minutes ago. Usually when I receive suggestions or questions like this, I have to ponder on exactly what to say, how to properly react in the situation, and how to formulate this into words. This, however, is a different story.  The answer is somewhat simple.

gambino gif

This is not just your bestfriend. This is a guy who you want to be with, but he is not folding. He got a part of you that doesn’t belong in the friendzone, and that is your sex. As soon as that door opened, the door of friendship closed.

I’m not sure how long you all have been friends, or when these feelings began, but I do know this: a man does what he wants to do when he wants to do it. If he wanted to be with you, he would do so without being prompted. Period. I’m sure he is a great guy and that the feelings you have are strong. But, just because we are amazing friends, that does not mean people will see us as amazing partners. With this in mind, guard your feelings closely. You will end up hurt thinking you deserve a chance from someone who refuses to give you one. I know this, because I have been there.

Take a step back from the situation to give your mind air. Not a FALL back. But a STEP back. You think more clearly and accurately about a situation when it is not constantly in your face. Consider your feelings, meditate on all possible outcomes, and then choose how to move forward. One step that will have to occur, regardless of your decision, is communication. You need to know exactly how he feels, and he needs to know exactly how you feel. There should be no room for grey area by the end of that conversation. 

I truly hope that this helps and that you end up with a situation that works out for you in the long run. But, as a hint, remember this: if he is truly your “bestfriend” (or any kind of friend at all), he will make a decision that will not hurt you forever. Friends do not knowingly allow other friends to be hurt, regardless of the situation. And if he does, he may not be your friend. He may be just another boy.

– Lex.

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