Let me start by saying this: the fact that you feel that I am confident even though I say otherwise is flattering to me in ways unimaginable. While I’m growing in confidence, there are still parts of me that need to understand that when I walk into a room, I do belong there. That I am perfect in every single way because God hasn’t made a single mistake. I’m almost there, and I’m proud of how close I am. However, the journey to my self-confidence has gotten so much easier for me over the years based on 3 realizations: what is for me will be for me, who is for me will line themselves up to be mine, and who I am is not based on who she is.
1. What is For Me Will Be For Me.
I used to always find myself wondering why I did have what someone next to me had. Some call it “Keeping Up with The Jones'”. I’ll call it “Keeping Up With Keisha”. Why didn’t I have a body like her? Why wasn’t I her kind of pretty? Why couldn’t I have the popularity, the style, the relationship she had? It took me learning that comparison is a thief of joy to understand that maybe Keisha was happy with what she was doing, and prospering with what she was doing, because she wasn’t worried about what anyone else was doing. The more you look for happiness in another place, the more you will lack the happiness and confidence in yours. What is yours to have will not pass you by, and will not call for you to be like anyone else in order to receive. The fact that there is so much you can attain just by being yourself should automatically boost your confidence.
2. Who Is For Me Will Line Themselves Up To Be Mine.
I was at a party this past weekend, and a friend of mine walked up to me and said, “You are a special person. Never forget that, and don’t let a boy here make you feel otherwise.” Out of the things on this list, this is the one that I struggled with the most. There was a point in my life where I could not understand what was so wrong with me that I could not connect with anyone long term. Everything was failing. And when I say everything, I literally mean: EVERYthing. But, as a Scorpio, I am very impatient and extremely stubborn. So it took me a long time before I realized that if I would just wait, my time would come. Sometimes, it just isn’t your season and you can’t make it be your season. You can’t make someone see all that you have to offer, and you can’t always try to prove yourself to someone. Those worthy of you will see your worthiness without you having to show them more than once. And notice I said “Line Themselves Up To Be Mine”, not just Be Mine. Anyone who wants me will put themselves out there, without me having to wait or wonder.
3. Who I Am Is Not Based On Who She Is.
I am me. I will always be me, no matter who the girl next to me is. Her beauty does not overpower my beauty. Her intelligence does not make me any less intelligent. So what if she has a man? If that’s all she has on you, you have nothing to worry about. Women do so much for the sake of other women; once I took that effort and put it toward myself, I was able to work on my own confidence and making myself better, for me. Self-confidence is the same when you are alone in a room as it is when you are a new addition to the room. It does not become affected by how someone does or does not feel about you. Loving yourself in every possible situation is an addition to your bank, and these are deposits that you can’t afford to miss.