Disclaimer: this post is my opinion. My opinion is the result of a thought; not a substitute for it. In other words, do not get yourself into a wad because of what is said, and meant, in this post. You can now proceed in reading with an open mind and honest heart.
Defining a relationship is important. Titles are needed. This needs to be done as soon as the time feels right and not a moment after. I can’t relate with you if I don’t know HOW I’m supposed to relate with you.
There are too many different kinds of relationships to walk around not knowing what type of relationship you are in. Friends with Benefits. Boyfriend/ Girlfriend. Dating. Friends Who Like Each Other But Don’t Want to Be Public. Exes Who Are Still Having Feelings for Each Other. We Like Each Other, But We Be Tripping. A Whole Lotta “Lol” and “WTF”. And so many other things that become answers to the question “What are you two DOING?”. The list gets longer and stranger by the day, because this is a time where ANYthing goes and is acceptable.
When you choose not to define a relationship, you are allowing almost anything to happen. When you have a cap or a standard of expectation for the both of you, you will not become easily disappointed. There are expectations and standards that come with being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Likewise, there are expectations and standards that come with friends with benefits, “Netflix and Chill” relationship. When you choose not to define what’s going on at all, that creates confusion and possible feelings being hurt from both sides. You think you’re on your way to falling in love and having a relationship, and he thinks the both of you are just really cool. You can’t understand why he won’t express his feelings toward you, and he can’t understand why you thought feelings were there. If you define it when it’s time to be defined, you won’t have to worry about being surprised later. You will end up committing to a single man because you never bothered to ask what was really going on, thinking that it was “understood”.
Am I saying that something is wrong with NOT defining a relationship? Not necessarily. But, if you are content with having no expectations and standards between the two of you, then both parties need to agree to that. If anything goes for you, then anything goes for him as well. Honestly, you need to agree equally to NOT defining a relationship if this is something that both desire. It may seem like taking too far of a step, but it is important. You deserve to know exactly what is going on. Lack of titles allow too much room for error and stress that can very easily be avoided. I would much rather have a title than a situation. Titles can answer questions and give solutions when both parties are open and honest. And for this, I am in full support.