It isn’t easy being black. And it’s definitely not easy being a young woman. Combining both can cause a hardship of deciding who you want to be, and comparing that against what society, men and everyone else in between says you should be. People often fail to realize what this can do to our self-esteem, confidence and worth. A simple scroll on social media or a text in a text thread can have us feeling as if we need to go back to the drawing board and reconstruct ourselves entirely. It isn’t that we don’t have a throne; it’s just that so much comes toward us at full force that, if constant, can make the legs weak overtime.
More often now than ever before, I find myself questioning how powerful I am, how worthy I am, and how much potential I truly have in me. It isn’t as if I’m not hearing it from another source, because I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by people who encourage me to be and do better all of the time. But no matter how much you are told something, it means nothing if you don’t personally find it true. The whole world believing in you means nothing if you don’t believe in yourself. And for some reason, having everyone around me believe in me when I still had questions about my own ability added so much pressure that I felt I almost couldn’t handle. It also magnified the voices of those who let it be known that they didn’t see me making it far. I began to break. Slowly. Quietly. But I was falling to pieces all the same.
It wasn’t until I realized that I had so much to give to the world that I stopped doubting if I would actually make the contribution. I had to understand that the same energy that decided that the world needed sunsets, oceans, rainbows and mountains saw fit to include me in the process. I am here for much more than the present eye can see, and the sound of those coming against me only creates a soundtrack for my progress. Yes, I will have my days. Yes, I will wake up some morning and not see a point in getting out of the bed. Yes, I will forget how much I have accomplished so far. But as long as I remind myself that my potential purpose is bigger than my present problem, I can keep moving forward. You will have your days; but be reminded that it really is just a day. Your worthiness and power took years to manifest. Letting a moment, or a day, ruin that is a disservice to you and to the world.
On the days that you feel as if so many are against you, just remind yourself that where you are going can not be reached until you get through what you’re going through. All of the challenges and adversity will only make you stronger. Your crown being crooked doesn’t mean you no longer have a crown; its just a test of how much strength you have to straighten it. Remind yourself of who you are, regardless of who THEY say you are. You got this. You’ve HAD this. The doubt is only temporary.