I’ve tried to stay away from writing one of those “What A Girl Wants” type of posts. I’ve always thought they were kind of corny, especially with the redundant amount of Twitter text message screenshots from 9th graders who are just adding emojis with common sense. But, upon request from some of my male friends, I will make an exception and give a slight glance into what I would want my potential significant other to be. What he should do, what he should have… just some of the things that I would love to see in someone who’s interested in me. My personal “List”. I hope that any guy reading this can gain clarification, and that any girl reading this can relate. So, here is an open letter.
Dear Guy Reading This Who Is Tired of Not Understanding What Ladies Really Want, and Girl Reading This That Probably Feels The Same Way I Feel,
First and foremost, who are you? Do you know the answer to this question for a fact? There is little to no purpose in me getting to know you if you don’t even know who you’re displaying. Be sure you are confident and sure of yourself, before you try to give me half of you. I can’t raise a man and I can’t guide the lost.
Also, before you try to become a part of my life, decide what role you want me in yours. Do you want me as a potential girlfriend? Are you really just trying to kick it? Am I in a shuffle with three other girls that I don’t even know? This is information that I, and most other girls, need to know upfront. Do not surprise me. Do not make it more than what it is. You will not hurt my feelings by being upfront with me; I promise you, it is okay. (Sidenote: at this point in my life, I have more than enough male friends. Don’t try to be that.)
I don’t want you to do 75% of the things you see on Twitter. Do not send me a long text explaining your feelings to me everyday; call me. Do not feel the need to adorn me with LV Purses and MK watches that you bought me with your tax return money; invest it in some stock or your own side hustle, take me to my favorite spot (even if it IS a hole-in-the-wall) and let’s just talk. I’m not into random materialistic pleasures; you spending your presence and time with me will be more memorable than clothes and shoes that I will soon outgrow. It’s not about the money, it’s about the investment; invest your time, knowledge and care into me. That is were value is obtained.
I need you to be able to stand up to me. I have my days when I’m petty and when I want things to go my way. Part of my attraction to you comes from you not taking some of the things I may throw your way. You can tell me no. Let me know you aren’t going for it. I may be mad at you for a day, but I’ll be back and better afterward. Strength is beautiful. Putting your foot down is necessary. Do it when you need to, and mean it.
But. Just like you may need to check me, I will definitely check you. I’m sophisticated and rowdy. I’m classy but an expert at calling you out. When I feel like something is wrong, you will know. And if you don’t automatically get the point, you will be shown. You may get cussed out. You may get an attitude. But the thing is, I will love you the same when it’s all over. I need you to be ready for that, and willing to grow in the process.
If nothing else, the main thing I need you to do Be.Yo.Self. If I want you to be anyone else, I would’ve been with someone else. Give me the luxury of seeing who you really are and deciding if that’s something I want in my life. Your vulnerability is not to be shunned. The more open you are with me, the more trust I have for you and the greater my appreciation grows. I want to know about you; the Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. It’s attractive to me to know that you aren’t afraid to display that.
All in all, all I ask for is you. Be in it and be ready. We can work on the cracks as we go. I don’t want you perfect; I just want you to be ready.
With Love and Honesty,