“You’re Not Crazy; You’re a Woman.”

Love is not a simple thing. Love is a complex arrangement of actions, thoughts and emotions. When done correctly, all of the pieces involved can overlap, disappear and sometimes even overshadow any previous sense of logic. It’s wild. It’s inevitable. Loving someone is one of the boldest and most insane things you can do.

Now. Imagine this emotion being placed into the heart of a woman: a being who is already bold, powerful and complex whether she realizes it or not. This isn’t by choice; it’s by nature. A powerful being intertwined with an equally powerful emotion is a recipe for either a curse or magic. How is it, then, that we are quick to call a woman “crazy” for reacting boldly to situations where her love is involved? Why do we not yet understand that it’s in her nature?

The quote “You’re not crazy; you’re a woman.” is something that a guy told me. And how did he know this? His mother told him. He had told her about our experiences and situations in search of answers. Why was I constantly calling him out? Why didn’t I like him constantly entertaining other women? Why was I quick to curse him out, to give a map which led to the exact destination where he had me messed up? Was it out of spite? Did I enjoy seeing him stressed out? Did I not have anything better to do?  Her response in that one sentence not only gave him clarity, but gave me confirmation that I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. My actions and feelings, though misunderstood, were valid, real and much bigger than the the word “crazy”.

When a woman, or growing woman, puts anything of her own into ANYTHING, expect her to become involved in more ways than one. When I put my time into something, I will respond when my time is wasted. When I put my effort into something, I am not pleased if I feel that the energy is going to waste. If I allow my heart to be open and the contents that are being placed in it are not reflective what God meant for my heart to be filled with, expect me to question why you are just giving me anything. Women love defensively as we do offensively; it’s not just about giving you love and winning you over, it’s about making sure that when we see something that tries to disrupt that, we don’t allow it to prosper. 

Men and society will complain about the back to back texts, the random pop ups and questions that women already know the answer to up and down. While I do agree that there are things done that are entirely too far (you burned his clothes in his house while you FaceTimed his mama so she could watch, sis. Do better.), a lot the complaints I see about women are small in comparison. Honestly, a lot of the actions done by women which receive the label of crazy are really reactions based on the shortcomings of a man. If you never show her that she’s appreciated, why wouldn’t she ask you if you truly do? If you act as if communicating with her is always second fiddle to 2K, working out and being with your boys, why are surprised that she triple texts you for a response? If you keep doing different variations of the same thing she’s asked you not to do, why are you mad that she keeps calling you out? If you want someone who is going to let you slide with everything to avoid giving you a “hard time”, you do not want a woman; you may want a smaller version of one.

Imagine if women weren’t “crazy”. What would happen if she didn’t act like she loved you in every sense of the word, always and in all ways? Would you grow? Would you have the same appreciation? We love our mothers because even though they get on our nerves and even though they always have something to say, we would not have grown or become better without them. Women do not do what they do in relationships strictly for personal gain, but because you being a better you allows you to be better for us, and both visions are things that we would love to see. If we let everything slide and allowed you to be complacent with us, even if we aren’t “The One”, you wouldn’t be ready for her when you found her.

Consider all of this before you tweet or discuss how “All women are crazy.”. You can’t fault us for doing things that are in our nature. Rather, we should be applauded. Right now, there are women reading this who are loving a guy that they are too much, too big and too powerful for. But because they care so deeply, they want to try and give him what he deserves anyway. And if you’re a guy reading this, it’s probably you that I’m talking about. So whenever you wonder why she is crazy, ask yourself this: “Is she crazy, or is she crazy for loving me?”

 

 

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