The Golden Rule has always been “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” If you want good to be done onto you, then you should also give that same level of good onto others. Be kind. Be courteous. Be giving. Be honest. All the good things that you want to receive from other people, you should make it a point to give it to them.
But I think that this rule is deserving of a revision. “Treat other the way you want to be treated” should include “and treat yourself the same way even if no one else does.”
I often see women remark on how good they are to everyone else around them. They are so loyal, so giving, so open and helpful to others. Yet, they seem to never receive the same treatment by those around them. It seems as if they are left out to dry, and while they are always there when someone needs them, no one is anywhere to be found when they just need somebody.
I know this feeling well, because I often found myself in the same predicament. “Why is it that I give my all to people and I only get crumbs? How do I constantly give my last and yet I am never put first? I show everyone love, but I only get secondhand love. Why is that? What am I doing wrong?”
It then occurred to me that I was missing an important aspect of The Golden Rule: it says to treat others the way that you want to be treated, yet it doesn’t guarantee that you will be treated the same way; that’s just the goal. Everyone may not understand that goal, and everyone may not want to reach or entertain it. The expectation is what leads to disappointment, and that is where we find ourselves flustered.
Am I saying this as a way to deter you from being good to people? Not at all. I am saying this as a reminder to always be good, great and better to yourself, and you will never feel the empty void of others not being good to you.
What if everything that you deposited into other people, you cashed in your own account? If you keep writing checks of good deeds to other people, by the time you need something good for yourself, your account will be empty. And what do we do when our accounts are empty? We hope that someone else makes a quick deposit, and this is not guaranteed. But if you save some goodness for yourself, you will never have to worry about feeling empty when some give you what you’ve given them.
Dont’t you think you deserve the best? Do you know that when you look in the mirror, the person staring back at you deserves to be recognized and treated well? When will you decide that it’s time for you to receive what you give, and even more? Love yourself better and deeper than you love others, and your well of goodness will never run dry.